Sep 9, 2008

The voice of silence....

The hall was packed.As we entered it,(five of us in our early twenties) we were greeted with a hushed silence and curious eyes.The principal of the college welcomed us into their midst with a warm smile.We sat down.After a couple of arrangements,the programme began.The principal,after making the welcome speech,handed over the mike to us,the speakers who were going to conduct the show!

The first speaker took over the mike,spoke,finished it successfully,came back and sat.So,did the other two speakers.My turn was set for the last.How i wished i could have spoken first,and then sat back relaxedly.As the fourth speaker was coming to the end of her talk,my nerves got tight.I was making myself light and mentally preparing myself to go on stage.The girl finished her talk.After a short intro,the mike was handed over to me.

I walked over,took the mike and took centre stage,so that i could get a clear glimpse of my audience.As i looked around the auditorium,i saw that it was packed to the brim. There were about five hundred girls from various departments of the college and also some faculty members present.The girls were mostly dressed in jeans and tee shirts,some of them wore big hoops,some of them had heavy eye-make up.I guess this college din't have any strict dress code,as some of the other colleges in Chennai!They dressed as they pleased!

As i looked over and began my talk,i realised that the blessed microphone was shaking in my hands.I saw that it was due to my nervousness/fear.So,i cooled down a bit,and then began.My powerpoint was switched on,i turned around to the big wall on which it was projected to check it,happy that there was some thing to turn and look at,if i found the audience's eyes too pressurising for me!

As i began my talk,my voice first came out soft,and then,as i went on,the flow started...loud and clear.It made me wonder if it was my own voice - steady,confident and loud.The flow of my voice was smooth,the gaze of my eyes shifting alternatively from the audience to the powerpoint,my hands moving spontaneously as i spoke.

The audience was steady.Not a whisper.All eyes focussed on the speaker-me,some times their stare shifting to the colourful powerpoint,sometimes to their notepads,where they were joting down points of the talk.They enjoyed the real-life examples and short stories.They were totally involved with the subject,looking on wide-eyed with rapt attention,they nodded in understanding.

As i came towards the end,and had to give a finishing touch to it, i realised that
i had forgotten or purposely ommited some points,but my mind was quick to adapt and weave new relevant points on the spot.I liked those 'spontaneous parts' which came out on the spot naturally,similar to what comes out in interesting conversations.

As i was going to end it,i realised,i was so composed and relaxed,the audience too was spell bound.For some time temporarily,the stage had become my arena.And i had enjoyed the whole time,almost an hour of speaking to a large audience!

I ended my talk.I 'm not boasting(infact,i should thank my mentor,who prepared all of us),they were all smiles and lively along with an active applause.I came back and sat,with the joy and satisfaction of having put in my best.I always like to put in my best into whatever i do,though at times,my laid-back nature prevents it.From the feedback session,we got to know that the audience had understood and enjoyed the talks and the interactive sessions.The point had reached home.We were all happy.

I was satisfied.I wanted this chance of speaking again.The interaction and the need to make my audience interested in the subject pulled me,into the love of public speaking.Was it becoming like a hobby!? Yes, i loved chatting with frens as a hobby,but public speaking,a hobby? i don't know.

Back at college and school,i had spoken and given seminars.But the audience was smaller,it was a familiar audience set in familiar surroundings in the warmth and goodness of our campus(i did my schooling and college at Andhra Pradesh).I never thought i could or would speak in Chennai colleges to a huge new audience.Infact i know initially, how much i was against the idea of going and speaking onstage.But today,i had loved and enjoyed it,every bit.There was a sense of satisfaction in coming out of my comfort zone,trying what i din't want to do,and succeeding at it.

It reminded me of Maslow's theory.I don't exactly remember it.According to his definition and concept of different forms of human needs,the last and the highest on the hierarchy of human needs is 'self actualisation'.Self actualisation - a need which every human feels,to embrace himself to the fullest extent possible,to tap and bring out his hidden potential and apply his best in whatever work he does.

I was happy i had put in my best in one of the small things of the world,the result of which showed in the form of a lasting impact on the listeners.

2 comments:

Surya said...

Firstly one must stop speaking to start communicating. Speeches bore while communication initiates action. And to communicate one has to involve the audience. This is where the "sponataneous parts" come. And am glad it came to you. It only means you communicated and not just spoke.

About self actualization, it means giving your all in every thing one does. A complete involvement to be what one can be. And all of us can be Him (actually Him), though the difference is significant when Swami puts it. He says, "I am God and You are God. The only difference is I know am God, you do not know". So self actualization boils down to awareness and this comes with involvement with one self and constantly challenging and discovering oneself. This agian boils down to hitting and exposing the hidden capacities of the mind. Hence the end is "Its all in the mind - the mind makes and the mind breaks".

Purni. said...

Ya,true.When i speak,i don't just speak.Since i write down,what comes to my mind from the knowledge gathered about the topic in question,i am able to communicate directly whats in my heart.Its just like when i speak to any of you,only that its a larger unknown audience,so its a bit formal,an objective point of view and in its crispest form:)